THE MOCKFORD DICTIONARY OF RUBLISH (rubbish english)
'Algebra' is a breakthrough in women's 'organic' fashion, using a special type of algae as its main material.
'Animosity' is the acceptance of any type of moss growth in gardens.
'Anthology' is the study of holes built by ants in the soil.
'Arachnophobia' is fear of drinking arak.
'Archaeology' was a branch of science promoted by Noah just before the Deluge.
C
'Cosmology' is the science of cosmetics.
'Catacomb' is a special brush for grooming pet cats.
'Catatonic' is a special tonic for grooming pet cats.
'Circumference' is a seminar or gathering of circus people.
'Claustrophobia' is the fear of Santa Claus riding a boat.
D
'Diabolical' is a specific term in soccer where a player also 'tastes' a ball kicked into his face... twice.
E
'Extinction' is to gas n' knock out several people inside a lift, with just one long silent fart.
F
'Flabbergast' is when a fat guy or gal let's off a big one. (see 'Extinction')
'Flatulence' is the act of smoothing out a rough surface.
G
'Geophysics' is synonymous for 'rock-hard abs'.
H
'Homo erectus' means "run for your life... and ass".
'Horticulture' is a type of arrogant custom and tradition.
'Hostility' is to be a good host until the guest leaves.
'Humanitarian' is those who eat humans (credited to Supardi Asmorobangun)
I
'Incarcerate' is to lock oneself or someone else inside a car full of food.
'Iconology' is the science of cheating one's own self.
L
'Liability is the skill level of a liar.
'Licorice' is derived from French, meaning "to be rich with liquor"
M
'Masturbate' in fishing is the main lure to be cast.
'Meteorology' is the study of meteors.
'Microfiche' is the tiniest species of fish.
'Monsoon' is just another way to say, "now is Sunday and the time is 11:59pm"
O
'Optometrist' is one who measures things up to its optimum length.
'Oncology' is the study of people making phone calls.
P
'Paleontology' is the study of grim white faces.
'Parasite' is where skydivers should land.
'Photosynthesis' is just another word for "graphic design and editing".
'Psychology' is the study of wheels on bicycles.
Q
'Quiche Lorraine' is seconds before you get smacked, especially if Lorraine doesn't know you, or isn't in the mood.
R
'Remorse' is to reply to a message in long and short beeps.
S
'Serendipity' is short for "surrender with pity".
'Syllable' is just another word for "funny car sticker".
T
'Thermite' are genetically-modified termites that are able to withstand extremely high temperatures.
'Thesaurus' is a large lizard from the Jurassic era.
'Trilogy' is the 'branch' of science that focuses on trees.
U
'Uranus' is the main muse of Homo erectus.
V
'Vegemite' are bioengineered termites with vegetable DNA.
X
'Xenophobia' is the fear of Xena the Warrior Princess.
Y
'YouTube' is a special personalised type of catheter.
Z
'Zooplankton' is a flat length of wood made for very heavy zoo animals to walk over ponds.
